The very few time I ever blog now is when I’m in a rough patch. Plus I’ve been lying in bed for two hours now, unable to sleep. But it’s really a great outlet for me to blog cause sometimes when I tell people what’s on my mind, they don’t understand how serious I am or how affected I really am. I just feel like I’m so, misunderstood (like all those misunderstood teens LOL). But recently someone I would consider closer to me then all my other friends here at Purdue completely betrayed me. She let me down. Not only was she my friend but she is suppose to be my sister. The other one, whom I don’t see as close who is also my sister, did the same but I wasn’t as disappointed. This chain of disappointment was also reemphasized by not getting elected for a position I really wanted because the doubt in my competence in Treasurer math. Way to call me stupid behind my back indirectly (well that’s what I got from it). At this point, my drive for “sisterhood” and anything chapter is at an all time low. I was more into chapter then my whole line and even some of the older girls all semester long and I feel like I got nothing out of it. It pains me to think that I might had wasted my summer and all semester for a worthless cause (since I will see no org as something I should support when I get treated as a fool). I even feel like some of the younger girls can’t see pass my bubbly goofy personality to respect me. I just don’t have it in me right now to do anything. I mean, to make it better I’m sick and trust me I am the most needy dead of everything sick person ever. Maybe not ever but I just can’t do anything productive when I’m sick cause my brain shuts off. To bring it back to the betrayal, in relations to it, one of my favorite most lovely roommate hasn’t paid me the utility bill in two months now. So I’m planning on not paying for the next one till see pays me back. It’s so funny too cause being awake for two hours I have noticed that this girl did not turn off the hallway lights. This is important cause she’s one of the roommates that complains about how large our electricity bill is. I mean obvious everyone else in the house needs to conserve while she leaves all the lights on in the house (claiming she always turns them off) and leave her tv on 24/7 also. It’s just plain obvious that we need to conserve as much as we can to make up for her. Like duh! Also I don’t know who’s messing with the thermostat but our management warned us to leave the heater on a minimum of 60 to avoid freezing pipes. So we all agreed to leave it on 60 so everyone can buy their own portable heaters and just bundle up (I for one didn’t care but personally would like the heater). But someone or multiple people turn it off or decide that they’re going to turn the heat on whenever they want. Can the girls in this house really just say something truthful that they’re going to stick to for once. My suspicion is on the smart girl who owes me money. I cannot begin in the amount of bullshit this girl shoots out of her mouth at us and all over the house.
After that rant I already feel so much better. Even though that was maybe 3/4 of it. Only a reminder that I am not meant to have friends if my female species.
I am a lone wolf.